Free short stories about Generation End

Posts Tagged ‘loneliness’

CRUMBLING APARTMENT WALLS

crumbling apartment walls

I wanted to tell her about a lot of things: how I wanted to kiss her in front of a zoo, how I hated the loneliness, how I wanted to face my fears yet flee for them – but I’d been told, repeatedly, that happiness could never be found by obsessing over oneself but that instead you had to give your heart to people who need one, so I asked her, “And you? How are you?”

“I’m good.”

“Good? You can’t be good.”

Christie laughed. “Why can’t I be good?”

“If everything was fine in your life it means you’re at the end, you’re at the last chapter.”

“Believe it or not, Dean, you can live life being content with everything.”

“Didn’t I tell you? That Thor guy said I was destined to live a life of suffering.”

“Everyone suffers. They just deal with it differently.”

Something was playing on Spotify from my iPad and it bothered me that Christie never had a say about what kind of music was playing in the background. But I didn’t tell her this. I picked her up, and she asked me, “Have I gotten heavier?”

“I’ve just gotten weaker.”

And I spun her, and as my mind rested elsewhere my apartment walls crumbled, and out came the stars and the roses and the popcorn and the lights, and there were so many things I wanted to say, so many drinks I wanted to drink, so many tears I wanted to cry, but I did none of that and I just watched Christie’s shirt as I spun her around and did not let go.

 

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Book I’m reading: Perennial Seller

THE LONELINESS

grey square - the loneliness

My loneliness can be an unforgiving piece of shit sometimes. I don’t want it to be there, but it lures me out when I don’t want to come out. It kisses me with its sour breath and proceeds straight to my heart, and it lingers there, and it gets comfortable there, and it calls it home and refuses to leave.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I sobbed to Christie over the phone.

“Aren’t I enough?”

“Sometimes I can’t hear your voice.”

Eventually, to my great relief, the loneliness leaves, and I drive my car and I play my guitar and I dance around like a monkey. But then it arrives again. It knocks on my door, and I stupidly open it, and I say, “Can’t you see that I have guests?” but then it kisses me anyway, and it makes itself at home anyway.

 

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Book I’m still reading: Men Without Women

MIRACLES IN WEST END

miracles in west end

I had become a mess so Christie told me to visit a lady in West End who performs miracles. Apparently, she helped cure a lady of her cancer, she helped cure a friend of his chronic back pains, she returned joy to a broken person’s life.

I went to the hall and sat down among a small group of others. The lights were dim and music was playing, and although I was thinking of nothing I wept. It was a ridiculous catastrophe: tears keep stumbling away from me and I had no idea why.

“I don’t have powers,” she said to the small crowd, “I am merely an instrument of God.”

After a while a queue had formed for people to come up to her to be healed. As each person would approach her, she’d say something to them, and no matter their size, they would fall to the ground.

I was invited to come up to her. She closed her eyes and clasped her hands and smiled, and she placed her hands in mine and she whispered in my ear: “You never have to feel lonely again. God is with you.” She blew onto my chest and I fell to the ground, and I lay there, thinking that nothing inside me had changed.

I stood up and returned to my seat, wondering what the hell just happened.

This guy who was around my age came from nowhere and sat next to me. “You don’t have to feel alone anymore,” he said without invitation, “I’m certainly not.” He spoke of other things – his addictions, his ego, the homes he’d lived in, and how his coming closer to God had cleaned his soul. He told me that everyone will go to heaven. “I think I’m supposed to talk to you and I don’t know why.” He hugged me, stood up and walked out of the hall.

I sat there on my own until ten in the evening. I was exhausted. When it was over I drove home and fell into a deep sleep.

 

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Book I’m reading: Walt Disney: The Triumph of the American Imagination 

Show I’m watching: Billions

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