looking outside a square window into the city

LOVE LETTER 500

Can there ever be drama without someone dying, or someone leaving, or someone lying, or someone cheating? Can there ever be a love story when there’s no one there to love? You used to ask me these things things all the time as you sat with your blank notepad on your lap, looking out over the balcony for answers. At …

Artistic eye background - love

BURNING ALL EX-GIRLFRIEND MEMORIES

I used to be a hoarder. I used to never want to let go of anything. Whenever time would try to drag something away from me, I’d pull onto it for my dear life. The other day, I decided to let that part of me go. Especially the part that clung onto old loves. I had too many memories of …

Light bulb ufo - visits from annabelle

VISITS FROM ANNABELLE

Annabelle’s boyfriend had left her so for a while, she became my best friend. Sometimes she’d come over at eight, or at midnight, or at two in the morning, or at noon when I wasn’t even at home. “Tell me,” she said, “why are men so cruel?” She never got used to how much food I didn’t have. She came …

I’VE HAD IT WITH YOU MR SADNESS

I’ve had it with you, Mr Sadness, with your damp eyes and your bloody nose and your sad, sad acoustic soundtrack. I’ve had it with the sporadic loneliness, the dread and the anger. I’m over this. Tomorrow I’ll go online and find me a new lover. A lover with sunlight and cool winds and upbeat music. A lover who socialises …

THE PERFUMED GARDEN

“Dude, you’re wrong. You need to read The Perfumed Garden.” This is what a friend said when I ignorantly asked him if Muslims were always so conservative about sexuality. Instead of actually reading the The Perfumed Garden and coming up with my own opinions about it, I Googled it and found this summary: “Written between 1410 and 1434 for a …

SOMETHING IN YOUR STOMACH

Someone from work once gave me a moleskin, and for some time I just let it sit at the back of my car. “If you don’t want to write in it, why don’t you draw something in it?” Christie asked me from her hospital bed. “Yeah okay,” I complained. “Like drawing is so fucking easy.” She got mad, so I …

LICKING FOR FIFTY THOUSAND

We ended up hanging out with this woman who cut my hair in South Bank once. She was this loud ball of fire who loved to talk about sex and dildos a lot, and that night, in the back of an Uber, she described her dildo collection like a guy would describe his sword collection: she had this proud, dazed …

CHRISTMAS IS COMING

Christmas is about family. Christmas is about being alone. Christmas is about gifts, and food, and handjobs and blowjobs and an uncle who is too drunk, and a friend who is too drunk, and the heat in one country and the blistering cold in another country and a shared moon that kind of hangs over everything: it hides in some …

THAT PLACE BY THE BEACH

   

ALIVE FOREVER

I wonder what it would be like if I was a crack dealer. It’d be a pretty fuckin’ stressful job. Or I wonder what it would be like to be one of those heroes that people always write about. Like a Nobel Prize winner or an Emma Watson or a Michael Jordan or something. I wonder if there are heroes …