YOUR GIRLFRIEND FILLING IN A SURVEY
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RIDING INTO THE SUNSET
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THE ANGEL WITH FOUR FACES
I wanted to write about angels but I couldn’t do it. Christie spent about two hours talking to me about angels. She spoke about the hierarchy of angels, how there’s the Seraphim, whose jobs are to continually worship God and who will only ever reveal themselves to humans if God is present, and then you get angels like the Cherubim, …
IT ALWAYS GETS IN THE WAY OF SAM’S PLANS
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SHOULD’VE TURNED THE LIGHTS ON, JEFF
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YOU SMELL FUNNY AND NO ONE WILL EVER TELL YOU
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MADMAN IN THE MIRROR
The quality of my writing started to drop at the same time the quality of my life started to increase. I hadn’t had alcohol or drugs in months. I had found God. I was in a stable relationship. I regularly exercised. I took protein shakes. I hadn’t masturbated in over sixty days and whenever I caught myself in the mirror …
DELICIOUS TIM TAMS
As I parked my car and as the sky shut its light and as the world closed its door ever so slightly I found myself adrift, both internally and externally, whatever the hell that means. I was confused. No, I wasn’t confused, I was muddled. My mind was fog. I was walking in every shitty direction and ending up nowhere. …
GOLD EVERYWHERE
“There’s a beautiful piece of corn in every big pile of shit.” This is what a homeless guy told me. I’d been hanging out with a lot of homeless people lately, especially since I started working in the city. There are homeless people everywhere in the city. I have a number of favourites. There’s this one guy with a beard …
VISITS FROM ANNABELLE
Annabelle’s boyfriend had left her so for a while, she became my best friend. Sometimes she’d come over at eight, or at midnight, or at two in the morning, or at noon when I wasn’t even at home. “Tell me,” she said, “why are men so cruel?” She never got used to how much food I didn’t have. She came …
ALIENS ARE IN THE AFTERLIFE
The most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my life was a sunrise when I was eighteen years old. It was in Noosa, and it was four in the morning, and the sea looked like crumpled pastel crayons. The most beautiful song I’ve ever heard was a song whose title I’ll never know, whose tune I’ll never remember: all I’d told …
THE PROBABILITY OF DYING ALONE
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THE AFTERLIFE OF THE AFTERLIFE
“You know,” she smiled slightly, starting to say something but then stopping — her mind drifted somewhere, to some man or drama maybe. “You know what?” “The afterlife, eternity… like, even when people talk about afterlife and eternity. It scares me.” “It scares me too.” Vail exhaled smoke from her nostrils as she killed her cigarette. She texted someone something …
STRANGERS AND SUNSETS
“People are yearning to be spoken to. They put on these faces and they complain all the time, but in the end people are so desperate for a stranger to come up to them and speak to them.” “As long as the stranger is good looking and not a crazy homeless person, right?” Christie ignored this. We were driving, up …
EVERYONE LISTEN TO JEFF. JEFF HAS A VLOG.
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THE WINDOW
The first great short story I ever wrote was written in a small room in a small apartment in Singapore, and it was so hot in there that I’d constantly be drenched in sweat. There was no air con, and all I had was this square window – that window, that stupid window! You’d open it and all it would …
HANK’S SPECIAL SAUCE IS DELICIOUS!
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KEVIN’S TONGUE HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH
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LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
Four years ago I was angry at love because it hadn’t turned out how I wanted it to turn out. It wasn’t constant roses. It wasn’t a dream picked from the stars. It was jealousy, and yelling, and money, and hanging up the phone. I travelled with Donnie, a boxer, to this laser light show in Adelaide somewhere, and he’d …
IT’S NOT THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING CODY
DAMMIT CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
Sorry I was late again today, babe. The realities of life got in the way.