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your girlfriend filling in a survey drawing

YOUR GIRLFRIEND FILLING IN A SURVEY

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boners riding a magical horse

RIDING INTO THE SUNSET

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9 orders of angels - source Wikipedia

THE ANGEL WITH FOUR FACES

I wanted to write about angels but I couldn’t do it. Christie spent about two hours talking to me about angels. She spoke about the hierarchy of angels, how there’s the Seraphim, whose jobs are to continually worship God and who will only ever reveal themselves to humans if God is present, and then you get angels like the Cherubim, …

a boner planning a way to ruin sams priesthood

IT ALWAYS GETS IN THE WAY OF SAM’S PLANS

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Jeff-just-discovered-all-of-his-girlfriends-flaws

SHOULD’VE TURNED THE LIGHTS ON, JEFF

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you smell funny and no one will ever tell you quote

YOU SMELL FUNNY AND NO ONE WILL EVER TELL YOU

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madman in the mirror

MADMAN IN THE MIRROR

The quality of my writing started to drop at the same time the quality of my life started to increase. I hadn’t had alcohol or drugs in months. I had found God. I was in a stable relationship. I regularly exercised. I took protein shakes. I hadn’t masturbated in over sixty days and whenever I caught myself in the mirror …

crazy wendy racist rant

OH, WENDY!

billy cant read - drawing

BILLY LIKES TO HOLD BOOKS

drawing - rocky the dog has your nudes

ROCKY LOVES YOU SO MUCH

clouds and tim tams

DELICIOUS TIM TAMS

As I parked my car and as the sky shut its light and as the world closed its door ever so slightly I found myself adrift, both internally and externally, whatever the hell that means. I was confused. No, I wasn’t confused, I was muddled. My mind was fog. I was walking in every shitty direction and ending up nowhere. …

drawing - never keeping promises

RICKY PROMISES TO ALWAYS BE HONEST

drawing - woman giving her daughter an ipad

KIM IS A GOOD PARENT

gold everywhere

GOLD EVERYWHERE

“There’s a beautiful piece of corn in every big pile of shit.” This is what a homeless guy told me. I’d been hanging out with a lot of homeless people lately, especially since I started working in the city. There are homeless people everywhere in the city. I have a number of favourites. There’s this one guy with a beard …

happy valentines loneliness sketch

HAPPY VAGENE DAY

Teddy Bear frowning

TEDDY AIN’T AFRAID

keith vs heroin addict you

KEITH VS YOU

harry in the toilet

HARRY LOVES WONDER WOMAN

carmen getting angry

CARMEN GETTING ANGRY

Light bulb ufo - visits from annabelle

VISITS FROM ANNABELLE

Annabelle’s boyfriend had left her so for a while, she became my best friend. Sometimes she’d come over at eight, or at midnight, or at two in the morning, or at noon when I wasn’t even at home. “Tell me,” she said, “why are men so cruel?” She never got used to how much food I didn’t have. She came …

brian is a racist

BRIAN IS OPEN FOR RACISM

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this little puppy just realised hes an asshole

HE HAD TO FIND OUT ONE DAY

this cute little bear has been living in your bum

THIS EXPLAINS THE TINGLES

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the word rectum

IT GROWS ON YOU

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ALIENS ARE IN THE AFTERLIFE

The most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my life was a sunrise when I was eighteen years old. It was in Noosa, and it was four in the morning, and the sea looked like crumpled pastel crayons. The most beautiful song I’ve ever heard was a song whose title I’ll never know, whose tune I’ll never remember: all I’d told …

TIM IS RUSHING HOME

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THE PROBABILITY OF DYING ALONE

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STAN AIN’T YOUR FRIEND

THE AFTERLIFE OF THE AFTERLIFE

“You know,” she smiled slightly, starting to say something but then stopping — her mind drifted somewhere, to some man or drama maybe. “You know what?” “The afterlife, eternity… like, even when people talk about afterlife and eternity. It scares me.” “It scares me too.” Vail exhaled smoke from her nostrils as she killed her cigarette. She texted someone something …

RICKY CAN’T WAIT…

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STRANGERS AND SUNSETS

“People are yearning to be spoken to. They put on these faces and they complain all the time, but in the end people are so desperate for a stranger to come up to them and speak to them.” “As long as the stranger is good looking and not a crazy homeless person, right?” Christie ignored this. We were driving, up …

RICHARD LIVES A HARD LIFE

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PUBERTY! PUBERTY! PUBERTY!

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POOR PEOPLE ARE SO ANNOYING

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I SPOTTED ONE, MUMMY!

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TOMMY FINALLY GETS IT

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LAUREN IS SO LOVING

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KEVIN’S BEST IS NEVER ENOUGH

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EVERYONE LISTEN TO JEFF. JEFF HAS A VLOG.

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NUMBERS DON’T LIE

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THE WINDOW

The first great short story I ever wrote was written in a small room in a small apartment in Singapore, and it was so hot in there that I’d constantly be drenched in sweat. There was no air con, and all I had was this square window – that window, that stupid window! You’d open it and all it would …

JAMES AND SAMANTHA <3

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HANK’S SPECIAL SAUCE IS DELICIOUS!

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GAMBLING IS FUN!

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ANDREW THE DOLPHIN AIN’T INNOCENT

DUMB DAISY

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KEVIN’S TONGUE HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH

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LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

Four years ago I was angry at love because it hadn’t turned out how I wanted it to turn out. It wasn’t constant roses. It wasn’t a dream picked from the stars. It was jealousy, and yelling, and money, and hanging up the phone. I travelled with Donnie, a boxer, to this laser light show in Adelaide somewhere, and he’d …

IT’S NOT THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING CODY

DAMMIT CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

Sorry I was late again today, babe. The realities of life got in the way.